White Rabbits
Was supposed to be going rock climbing today over at Werribee Gorge, however, Leigh, my climbing partner bailed on me at the last minute. Turns out rock climbing isn’t always as safe and fun as people hanging upside down in the clouds make it out to be. I got a call from his dad while I was at work last night telling me that Leigh had fallen 10 meters while climbing indoors and landed on his back, exploding a vertebrae. He needs metal plates stuck in his back which surgery will provide in the next couple of days.
I went indoor climbing with him last week, and with the amount of ropes that get tied around you (one around the neck, one around the penis, one around the ankle) it’s hard to believe that anyone could fall. When I was there, completing the easiest climbs they had, I kept being told that I had to trust the equipment. Through my sobs I would cry, “But I don’t wanna!” It may be that sometimes being a pussy pays off.
I guess if there’s a lesson here it’s: never leave the house.
On our way back from last weeks climbing session, Leigh, whose Christianity is his life-blood, recounted a story from a previous climb where he and his partner got stuck hanging on the side of a cliff. They called over to two other climbers who came to their rescue. As he was driving, telling me this, he stopped to thank the Lord for offering His help through these other climbers. I wonder if he’s cursing the Lord right now? It only seems fair.
Anyway, I’ve decided I’m going to climb Werribee Gorge, alone, without ropes…naked. It’s just something I’ve got to do for my buddy.
Once that’s done, I will decide whether or not to go to Breaks Ahoy. Breakbeats on a cruiser on Port Phillip Bay. It’s always a good night. The first one I went to I was on ecstasy, and between dancing and standing on the bow doing the arms thing from Titanic, I sat and looked out at all the shipping containers that lined the wharfs. They stretched for kilometers. It was like watching a scrolling kung fu computer game. It was also the second date I went on with a girl I ended up falling in love with. Fucking good night.
The second time on the boat myself and Eurofriend just took speed. Euro walked into the toilets to smudge some over his gums, then came out and ordered a drink from the bar. When he rejoined us he said that everyone was looking at him funny. “I don’t know,” I said, “could be ‘cos you’ve got a strange white powder all over your lips.”
People where looking at me funny that night as well. I realized why when I went to the toilet and looked at my facial expression in the mirror. Huge bulging eyes and weird grin/smirk on my face. I didn’t know I was doing it, I thought I looked relaxed. It was just an insane looking expression. For the rest of the night I had to keep checking my face with my hands to make sure I wasn't doing it anymore.
Speed is a hell of a drug.
Oh and by the way, if you work in an environment that contains a large hierarchical management structure, and a new head honcho manager has just started, the kind that can decide on a whim to urinate on you and legally you just have to take it, then don’t let the first words he overhears coming out of your mouth be, “Pft, that’s just bullshit management speak!”
I am about to be pissed on.
OBPhoto:
Another night on the town with the Vikings.
I went indoor climbing with him last week, and with the amount of ropes that get tied around you (one around the neck, one around the penis, one around the ankle) it’s hard to believe that anyone could fall. When I was there, completing the easiest climbs they had, I kept being told that I had to trust the equipment. Through my sobs I would cry, “But I don’t wanna!” It may be that sometimes being a pussy pays off.
I guess if there’s a lesson here it’s: never leave the house.
On our way back from last weeks climbing session, Leigh, whose Christianity is his life-blood, recounted a story from a previous climb where he and his partner got stuck hanging on the side of a cliff. They called over to two other climbers who came to their rescue. As he was driving, telling me this, he stopped to thank the Lord for offering His help through these other climbers. I wonder if he’s cursing the Lord right now? It only seems fair.
Anyway, I’ve decided I’m going to climb Werribee Gorge, alone, without ropes…naked. It’s just something I’ve got to do for my buddy.
Once that’s done, I will decide whether or not to go to Breaks Ahoy. Breakbeats on a cruiser on Port Phillip Bay. It’s always a good night. The first one I went to I was on ecstasy, and between dancing and standing on the bow doing the arms thing from Titanic, I sat and looked out at all the shipping containers that lined the wharfs. They stretched for kilometers. It was like watching a scrolling kung fu computer game. It was also the second date I went on with a girl I ended up falling in love with. Fucking good night.
The second time on the boat myself and Eurofriend just took speed. Euro walked into the toilets to smudge some over his gums, then came out and ordered a drink from the bar. When he rejoined us he said that everyone was looking at him funny. “I don’t know,” I said, “could be ‘cos you’ve got a strange white powder all over your lips.”
People where looking at me funny that night as well. I realized why when I went to the toilet and looked at my facial expression in the mirror. Huge bulging eyes and weird grin/smirk on my face. I didn’t know I was doing it, I thought I looked relaxed. It was just an insane looking expression. For the rest of the night I had to keep checking my face with my hands to make sure I wasn't doing it anymore.
Speed is a hell of a drug.
Oh and by the way, if you work in an environment that contains a large hierarchical management structure, and a new head honcho manager has just started, the kind that can decide on a whim to urinate on you and legally you just have to take it, then don’t let the first words he overhears coming out of your mouth be, “Pft, that’s just bullshit management speak!”
I am about to be pissed on.
OBPhoto:
Another night on the town with the Vikings.
posted by Li at
2:55 PM
5 Comments:
What are you doing man? Get those Vikings on that dere boat, load 'em up and have some fun. Then, half-way through the night when you're all up to your eyeballs in chem you turn and say "wanna swim ashore and come climb Werribee Gorge naked with me?" Sorry, opportunities like that only come along every six weeks.
PS- I like rock climbers. Hate the climbing part. But the climbers keep a budding therapist like me in business. I should stand at the base of those cliffs sawing through the ropes and tossing rocks at them; it's called building a client base.
By
Semi, at 7:36 PM
PPS- Boat, breaks, bikkies.
That is such a fucking good combination. Reminds me of Sunshine People last year. Things like that do not require a decision.
By
Semi, at 7:39 PM
Li: Bad luck on coming down with a classic case of foot-in-mouth syndrome. Of course, if you're feeling you're career ambition sliding by the wayside, you could always give your colleagues a good game of Wank Words Bingo! In any case, I hope that you don't get pissed on too badly, whatever you do.
Nordic beauties/barbie dolls always bring a smile to my face. (Of either gender.) They're both pretty to look at.
Rorschach: Your comment made me giggle-snort tea up my nose. I hope you're happy, man.
By
Althea, at 9:40 PM
Rorschach: I ain't got no disco bikkies and i'm working the next day, that's from where the decision making stems. I'm one of those tragic figures that needs drugs to have a good time.
Got any blow?
By
Li, at 6:23 PM
I'm too poor to maintain my contacts at the moment. I have recently taken to ripping open and licking every plastic bag in my desk drawer on principle. I'm even considering going down to the local high school and rolling kids for their ground chalk and oregano.
It is also a well-known fact you work better coming down, the day after a party. Remaining busy keeps the boss from talking to you or having to look into your slightly-deranged, dilated eyeballs.
By
Semi, at 7:25 PM
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